The A Cycling Grimpée Mynydd Ddu
So after the Monster I basically had time to drive back to Llandovery, bound like a gazelle* up to the second floor and our new room, have a shower, head back downstairs with electronic devices to do that "You haven't done it until it's logged on Fetch, Strava, GarminConnect, TrainingPeaks etc etc thing while ordering food
"Can I have the steak please - and a portion size that'll make a dent in a 6,000 calorie deficit please"
"So...... lots of chips then," smiled Sally
"That'll be great" 
The WiFi connection was a little temperamental for a bit, but Lorna and I both managed to get our rides logged in the various places we put them whilst 'disappearing' our food with the efficiency of an industrial vacuum cleaner.
And we headed up to our room to horizontalise ourselves and top up on snash and cans of pop.
A quick bit of doing most of the packing.... and I lasted about half an hour before I was reportedly making like a dead thing!
I'd planned to be away in the morning at a bit after 8:30 to give me time to park again, register and have time for about 15 minutes riding to loosen my legs up.
So woke at about 7:30 and headed down to breakfast.
8 weetabix in 4 sittings of 2 at a time and a couple of cups of tea before throwing everything bar Lorna and her bike into the car and heading down to get signed on while V made her way in her own time to the top of Mynydd Ddu to cheer everyone in
I got the same parking spot!
And as I was wandering around to collect my number I bumped into an old friend. I've known Emma for a few years having first 'met' her on Twitter, then done some training with her and her partner and having ridden a few of the same events.
She's a REALLY strong climber so it made sense that as she was 2 miles up the road attending a wedding on Saturday that she'd signed up for the Grimpée
I got my number and put my not sparkling bike (I saw about 6 others, but there were in fact 13 people who'd also ridden the Monster the day before) together and cleaned and oiled the chain.
I headed out up the road to see if my legs would work and for the first 5 minutes or so I was a little worried!! They wouldn't turn quickly and any pressure on the pedals elicited squeals* of displeasure from my quads!
But by the time I'd done 15 minutes they were showing signs of life again and I was warming up nicely
Despite knowing I had a heavy day of riding in my legs and was likely to be mostly last, I was secretly hoping that, as a Monster Finisher I'd manage to have enough legs to make the as yet unspecified time for a free entry to next years event!!
At the briefing Matt told us that the current Strava KOM (yes it gets everywhere, and yes I'd already looked it up) was 17:49 by a local lad who rides for Madison Genesis!! and that he'd set the cut off at 25 minutes for those of us with tired legs
"It should be doable" he said.
The same bloke who'd also said that the fastest riders in the Monster would be around 6:30 for the Monster - First rider back was 7:08!! 
I'll give it my best shot, I thought.
I was looking forward to the neutralised start as a peloton - Matt had the necessary permissions and Police presence to run this as a race with the small numbers involved - 31 riders - and the "steady pace" turned out to be almost 19mph on a slight incline for 5 miles.
THAT got the legs warmed up!!
I positioned myself in the front third for the roll out and the group was nicely disciplined
The hooter went, I pressed the lap button (I wanted to know what my time was without waiting for the results!) and all hell broke loose. The body of the group I was in surged and then eased a bit, two riders hammered off the front and a group from behind me set off in hot pursuit.
I had a little chuckle because in another context I'd have had a go at chasing them down, but 119 miles ridden quite hard the previous day had lopped the top off my available power AND one of the riders was the Current Welsh Hill Climb Champion - and HE came second!
By the time we came over the cattle grid at what my head told me was the bottom of the main body of the climb, but was actually already half way up I was pretty sure that I was almost last!!
But my legs were starting to work and I was starting to reel a few people in
A bit like with running, I would target the next back that was ahead of me and aim to catch them, and from that point on no-one went past me - so I was dragging myself up from Nearly Last.
But the *main* goal was that 25 minutes!!!
What is it with photographers and corners? The final switchback was where they were standing with about a mile to the finish. I put on a 'I'm working really hard' show for their benefit (as you do!) and from there to the finish there were loads of people out to support, cyclists, families and assorted others. I glanced up to see two things: firstly a small female rider with a long plait who I didn't recognise but was closing on - as I went past I realised that she could only have been about 12 and was riding with her Dad. Tell you what - she was going great guns!
Chapeau, cariad
And Emma, about 50 metres ahead, and I was gaining! That can't be right! On the longer climbs she is consistently about a minute faster than me.
But I was spurred on.
I put out as much effort as I could for the line and hit the lap button as I crossed the little line.
Unfortunately the finish came too soon to actually catch her, but a deficit of just 9 seconds was most pleasing
I pedalled on beyond the finish just to spin the legs out and so as not to create a Bee shaped obstruction on the (still) open public road.
I turned back to the layby where the finishers were congregating and thought - there's about 20 of them 
I found somewhere to stop and check my Garmin
Lap 1 - the neutralised start - 3.76 miles - 12:07mins - 18.6mph
Lap 2 - The Grimpée - 4.92 miles - 23:22mins - 12.6mph
GET IN!!!
At some point Lorna had appeared and was chatting to Emma, and after a short while we headed down to HQ
Lorna said, "I'll be really pissed off if the Strava segment starts 10m back from here."
I decided to get down as quickly as I could and start sorting out the car, and realise half way down that I'd stopped my garmin at the top
Bugger - I was descending well and would have loved to have had the geeky stats for it.
Photographers were still at the switchback taking descending pic - so put on a show for them again - Wide in Tight to the Apex, wide out :D
And put in a decent effort down to the Hall.
I got changed and readied the car for Lorna's bike and headed into the hall for 
and Oh and, randomly Tortilla chips and peanuts!
We chatted with one of the ladies who'd done both days but who was certain she hadn't made the 25 minute cut off for a free place on the next event, and had a chance to have a bit of a chinwag with Emma, which was great too.
Chris - the young chap from The Level Crossing had also done both days and was looking pretty knackered, but had also had a good weekend
Come the prize giving ( there was only a cash prize for the overall winner) the ladies were up first, Emma was first, and the 2nd and third ladies had both ridden the Monster as well
The first three riders had fabulous times
3rd was 19:22
2nd was 18:19
1st was 18:08
They all *looked* like rider who were climbers!
They make me look like a lump, and it's no wonder I can't climb anything like that** (as well as being old 
)
Matt the organiser also announced that all 13 riders who'd done both days would be offered free places next year as the number who'd done both was so small.
Chapeau sir! A fantastic gesture and a top weekend
*I may have been imagining these
**I was 16th - it doesn't get more mid pack than that
The A Cycling Monster
Earlier in the year it was suggested that it would be good for me to have a late season event to target to see where this years training had brought me to and identify the areas that need work for next year.
The event that we decided on was a new one in Mid Wales called The Monster and run by A Cycling in Llangadog.
I was brought up near there so it was a great opportunity for a big ride in an area that I knew reasonably well, and a chance to see some of the bits that had eluded me when I was a small person.
And that area of Wales is objectively stunningly beautiful too.
Lorna decided that she wasn't going to do the event, but would "potter about a bit on my bike!"
We stayed that The Level Crossing in Llandovery run by the very friendly and helpful Sally
It's basically a bunkhouse with food and a bar - so everything that you *do* need, and none of the 'frills' that you don't really need. And it's superb value.
When I booked it they only had a Twin with a shared bathroom available for the first night, but Sally assured me that it would be no problem to move us into a double en-suite while we were out doing cycling on Saturday.
Lorna and I agreed that after a long hard day out, that this would be a Good Thing
Saturday.
So breakfast was on the go at 6am and as it turned out there were 4 riders from Huddersfield who were down for the event staying in the same place, and a quite young fella called Chris from Guildford too.
As with runners, it's fascinating seeing what people do on the mornings of events. There were pre-prepared tubs of specific cereals for some, full breakfasts for others...... I kept it simple - 6 weetabix
I headed off early (the start wasn't until 9) to give me plenty of time to park in the limited space available (thanks Googlemaps ) get registered and reconstruct my clean sparkly bike, decide on what to put in the feed station dropboxes (one going to feed station/checkpoints 1&3, the other going to 2) and fret over clothing choices.
Forecast had been a shower at around 9, then light cloud and the possibility of showers from about 2pm......
The slightly overweight clouds in the direction we were going to ride suggested that *that* might have been a tad optimistic!
I decided on longsleeved raincape to start and put my sleeveless gilet in the feed station 2 box
This bit is for my benefit, you can skip over it if you like.
Feed station were to be at 51km, 111km and 155km with the total length of the route at 192km and 4,200m (this was pretty accurate) of climbing.
51 km was going to be too early to need anything on a relatively cool and 'likely to be a bit damp for a bit' day, I decided, so I'd be riding straight through that one, meaning that I'd need a water bottle, gels and a gilet in box 2 and a water bottle and gels in box 3.
I worked out my gel and water intake based on a ride time of 8 hours (assuming I was having a less good day) - I only really use gels on events when I'm going to be riding them hard. Don't use them in training at all.
So 8 hours with 3 gels an hour - 24 gels plus one at the start. Initially I separated them into 3 lots of 8, but then took 2 from the box 1/3 lot and 2 from the box 2 lot to give me 12 for the first bit and 2 bottles on the bike, with 1 bottle then in each of the boxes.
I mostly use Torq gels as I have no problem absorbing them, and I'd experimented with some Gu Salted Caramel ones with a bit of caffeine in too (they are really nice btw!) and I had about a 3:1 ratio of them.
Got this almost exactly right. I was one gel short coming to box 2, and because of my total time, I had two left at the finish.
4x750mls of water for the distance/time conditions was spot on.
OK - ride stuff!
There was a thorough race briefing that warned us about the cobbled ford after about 4 miles, the across the whole road pot hole at the bottom of one of the early decents just before a bridge to take carefully, the second ford that wasn't rideable, but the footbridge that was, a couple of left turns at the bottom of hills to watch out for, and the slippery twisty descending bit through some trees with a broken road surface about 12 miles from the end!
The briefing took a couple of minutes longer than allowed for, so the 9am start became a 9:08 start
Because it was a sportive and not a race, there were staggered starts at 2 minute intervals, but also as there were only 60 riders it meant that everyone was away within 4 minutes
I decided to head off in the first group - less congestion on the first climb!
We had been warned that the first real climb was early. It was - 0.7 miles in!
Some of the Over-Enthusiastic absolutely hammered up that hill, and before I knew it I was pretty much at the back of the group of 20!
Ah well, I thought, only 118.5 miles to go
I'm old you see and it takes my legs a little while to properly get going when I'm not racing, and although there WAS a temptation to go haring after them, I didn't!
The cobble surfaced Ford was at around 4 miles and I lined myself up for it and rode across with no problem. No such luck for the bloke who was trying to go past at the time. I heard the *thunk - tss-tss-tss-tss* and a swear word.
He refused my offer of help
The road then continued to climb to around 8 miles. 1000ft in the first 8 miles!
Good effort on the start, Matt (the organiser)
The next bit was a lovely descendy undulating section down to Trecastle at around 14 miles which I know well, and it was nice to get the legs spinning and getting a bit of a shift on on a decent road surface.
A short section along the A40 where the Huddersfield boys came past me, and then on to a section through Llwel up onto Epynt up the narrowest dual carriageway in the world
Yes it is single track on both sides, but technically it is a Dual carriage way because there is a central reservation. Strange but true!
It's also a climb - so 70mph wasn't on the cards.
I was really looking forward to this bit because it was somewhere that brought back many memories of my childhood when Dad was regularly marshalling at the many rallying events that were held in the area in those days, and he always took me along
As we ascended I could see that the cloud base was coming to meet us, and I took the opportunity on a flatter section to put on my rainjacket. Good call me! The rain started and got pretty heavy at times and the cloudbase made it misty and eerily quiet. So far the forecast was almost 100% wrong
Lights on! Cars use this road as a rat run I remembered. OK, so I only actually saw 3 or 4 cars, but that is rush hour on Epynt
Oh! and the road surface........ silky smooth for the 8 or so miles over the top to the turn to Tirabad. What an absolute delight to ride on, and the best I've ever known that surface to have been - although in fairness, I've not been there for a long time!!
Another couple of miles down in to Llanwrtyd Wells, which surprised me - I had forgotten that we passed through the village!
Over the bridge and left towards Abergwesyn.
This is a lovely gently climbing section through the Irfon Forest area, past the first feed station which had a few folk stopped, as per plan I rode straight by, and when I got to the turn signed Llyn Brianne at around 34 miles where the road kick up a bit before heading up and along the valley side (It's lovely this bit - a super ride in its own right!) the rain started to ease. I was warm but not overly so and was starting to think about shedding the rain jacket.
But as luck would have it on the flat section I was riding, I saw the bridge with the Across The Whole Road Pot Hole just ahead, and needed both hands.
And straight after it the road appeared to kick up a bit steeply.
"Oh - Devils Staircase already" I thought, and not wanting to stop at this particular point, I cracked on.
It's a NICE climb, even with slightly damp roads: a first initial kick to get you in the mood, a left hand bend that's quite steep on the inside, another straight not quite so steep bit to the right hand bend (yes the one that all the pictures are taken of with the camera slightly tilted to make it look steeper than it is) where the photographer was lurking.
And as you do when there is a photographer, you just HAVE to take the steeper line and a final little straightish bit to the top.
Super views at the top and it was definitely time to remove the raincape! The descent afterwards is fast and reasonably straight so I hammered down that and past the road to Llyn Brianne on my left (you can't really see the lake from this point) at around 38 miles.
The route stays high here (well there isn't anywhere else it can go, to be fair) with a couple of little ascents and decents with some incredible views of Mid Wales. A group of 4 caught up to me near the top of the first little climb after the Devils Staircase - two young lads from Cardiff Tri who I'd been chatting to in the Car Park before we started, an older fella with GBR on his shorts, and a fella who I got talking to who was clearly a stronger rider than the others, but hadn't much enjoyed Devil's Staircase on a 39x25 and was mostly riding with the two younger lads. We rode together over the tops and down the fabulous descent to Tregaron.
Was slightly mystified at Mr GBR drafting a van at 35 mph in descent on a single track road. He also had a tendency to overlap wheels which on of the younger lads gave him a right earful for.
I smiled inwardly and thought, "spot on!"
He stopped doing it after that
There was a nice flatter section for a few miles out of Tregaron where we got a reasonable shift on and then at around 50 miles just after Llanddewi Brefi there was the next climb which was around 4 miles long. At this point I realised that the Cardiff Tri chaps had probably gone off a wee bit hard as they started to flag, and I headed off up the hill at my own pace.
Mr GBR came with me for a bit, but he was one of those huffers and puffers, and I fancied a bit of quiet at the point so I put in a bit of effort to distance him and by the time I'd reached the top I had the road to my self again.
Somewhere along this bit Ed, one of the Huddersfield riders came past me. That confused me a bit, because they went away from me at the start, so I can only assume I passed them at the first feed station, because I definitely hadn't done so on the road!
I was slightly faster than him on the next descents, but not as much as he was faster than me in ascent, and after a couple of little upish gradients he was out of sight!
At 60 miles we came to the Don't Ride Through It ford.
It was a good call that too. it was deep, and you could see that the surface was horrible, and the road surface on both sides was also very rough.
At this point I caught up to one of the local riders and chatted to him for the short section before the next climb. Turns out he was one of a group of riders who'd done the recce'ing for the organisers when they were putting the route together!
"Nice one," I said "I'm really enjoying it, and we're over half way now "
He was another one who'd gone off a bit hard early on as once the road pointed skywards again I rode away from him.
After another fabulous descent to the B4343 near Llanfair Clydogau there was a lovely 3 or so flat miles along the valley bottom to Cwmann just South of Lampeter which preceeded the very pleasant 700ft in 2.5 miles climb to the second feed station.
Ed was there - hadn't expected that as I thought he be well away by that point!
I saw that they were checking rider numbers through and I asked how many were through already.
"Seven including you," I was told.
"Really?" I was genuinely surprised. I was sure I hadn't passed that many people even with the group at the first feed.
Seventh - that's quite pleasing I thought. Wonder if I can maintain that?!
My box was handed to me and I took my full bottle and set of gels, deposited the two empty bottles and rain jacket and put on my gilet, and was away pretty quickly.
We turned on to a main road the A482 and near the bottom of the descent I had my only navigation error. I went flying past a junction to a minor road, vaguely recognised a car that was parked by it and *may* have sub-consciously seen an arrow.
Screeched to a halt, checked the route map, and yes, I'd missed it
Damn!
That'll be the Ed chase finished then!
The next 20 miles was a fabulous section that comprised 3 climbs and descents with just over 2000ft of ascent, and although up high and on minor roads, again they'd been resurfaced, and riding on them was a joy!!
Along here I looked behind me and saw a rider in a red top slowly gaining on me and my first thought was "Oh no - Mr GBR"
But he was gaining on the climbs and losing ground on the descents so that was unlikely.
At 92 miles after the MOST enjoyable 20 miles or so we reached Brechfa on the B4310 and the red top caught me.
It was Mr 39x25
"Finally I've caught you," he said.
He'd stayed with the Cadiff Tri boys for a while (they *were* riding together) but they were having a bit of a time of it and had sent him off to ride his own race. We were approaching the last feed stop riding along nicely and all of a sudden I heard tss-tss-tss-tss.
"Oh! One of us has a puncture," I said, having not felt myself go over anything that might have made it me.....
And yet down went my front tyre
"Eh? Oh! It's me!"
"Do you need a pump or anything," he asked
"Nope, I'm fine," I said
Quick inner tube change - 6 minutes! It was one of the pinch flats that you have NO idea how you got and I certainly was unaware that I'd ridden over anything to cause it.
So Mr 39x25 rode away, and one other rider passed - Damn 9th now!
The feed station was less than half a mile away and the second rider who'd gone passed me had obviously faffed
I just grabbed the full bottle and remaining gels and was on my way and I swear the not Mr 39x25 bloke had a target on his back
There was about 3 miles of reasonably flat road before the turn off at Abergorlech and the next climb and it took me 2.5 of those to reel him in, and I sat in for a short time before going past and giving him a tow to the junction - where a doddery old dear almost pulled out across us while looking the other way!
The climb was around 700ft in 2 miles and I was able to ride away from Not Mr 39x25. Considering that I was at 97 miles I was actually pretty pleased with how strongly I was climbing. Still not fast, but not any slower!!
This 10 mile section was also lovely to ride. Some narrow quite technical descents and 3 short sharp climbs before the descent just before Talley which we'd been warned about.
There was a "Caution" sign - actually the signage was perfect - but I was struggling to remember what it was we to be cautious about at 107 miles.
I narrowed it down to 2 things. A gravelly left turn at the bottom of a descent, or a slippery descent.
The actually green mossy road and tree cover gave it away. It was the "slippery twisty descending bit through some trees with a broken road surface!" And it really justified the warning - 'twas properly slippy and needing care!!
A short climb on an initially green surface which dried and cleared about a third of the way up and I was in Talley.
There followed a few miles of Welsh undulation on the B4302 before turning off for the last climb of the day.
Not steep, just 560ft of ascent over 2 miles, but it was still 2 miles!
There was a gate at the farm about 2/3rds of the way up and who did I see there but Mr 39x25!
I wasn't expecting to see him again!
The farmer happened to be at the gate at the time and held it open for both Mr 39x25 and me, and I was told over a cuppa at the finish that the farmer had said "There's someone catchin' you, byt"
Seems that was all he needed to ride away.
At the top of the climb I passed a young chap in a black and yellow kit who was looking a wee bit wobbly. I checked he was OK and he assured me he was and I rode on. I think he tried to stay with me for a bit, but I suspect that he just needed to soft pedal his way through the last mostly downhill miles to the end. And I guessed that put me back into 7th rider home position again
I didn't catch Mr 39x25. He finished about 20 seconds ahead of me, but had gone of in the second group, so was actually 2 minutes ahead
Lorna was waiting at the finish having had a superb day out on the bike herself, and we sat down for and and and, I believe
Lorna's bike was still sparking! "I've had lovely weather where I've been," she said.
My bike and legs...... weren't sparking 
We sat around for a bit and chatted to the folk who were in, those who were coming in and the organisers. It was a fabulously organised low key event, a brilliant route and quite hard.
As to the claim that it's the hardest in the UK.
Difficult one.
Apart from the Devils Staircase there aren't many gnarly steep hills, but there are lots of very long leg sapping ones.
There is more climbing pro rata than other sportives (although there is *one* I need to check)
It's a hard as you ride it was my conclusion.
Interestingly though - for more power, my average speed was lower than for the Fred Whitton this year.
Super day - really enjoyed it.
119.5miles
7:36:28
Without that puncture I'd have been spot on the 7:30 I'd estimated
I'll do the Grumpy* later. Need a cuppa tea now
*Grimpée Mynydd Ddu
